People Are "Squishy."
By Guest Blogger, Mary Schmidt, Marketing Troubleshooter
Illogical, unorganized, emotional, needy...and that has driven many a
results-focused biz person nuts (of both sexes…not all us women are
into group hugs and sing-alongs, at the expense of getting something done.)
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in managing people is that others don’t think (or act) the way I
do. In personality tests, my profile is “Dominator” and “Field Marshal”
– fellow Ds and FMs include Margaret Thatcher and Napoleon (?!). I was somewhat heartened to see Abraham Lincoln on the list, but despite the sainthood people have bestowed on him, he was most definitely un-squishy – a hard-ball politician and president.
Back in my corporate days, I’d tell someone to – in essence – “go take that hill” and he’d end
up wandering around cubicle-land, looking lost and unhappy, since I
didn’t tell him EXACTLY what to do and how (and – sigh
– why.) Me, on the other hand – tell me the outcome needed and I’m off.
I don’t need anything else. I’ll call ya if I need air cover.
That said, I did come to realize that different roles require – ta-da! – different skills, thanks in part to mandatory - groan - team training. While I can do the details, in the most anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive ways needed…I don’t want to…and it’s not my real forte. (Show me a hill to take!) In my last "real job" I once whined
noted to my manager that I really hated all that line-by-line stuff in
contract negotiations. His reply, “Yeah, well, there's nobody better – you do it with a laser
focus, and you hate to fail…” (Which was far better
than saying “Tough. It’s your job.” He turned the tedium into a hill to
take.) Conversely, poor unhappy, wandering Bob WANTED to stay in his cubicle and do the detail stuff.
So, if you're hugger, think about the other person…maybe they don't want to get up close and personal…they just want to get the job done. And, fellow Ds, if you see someone headed your way with arms open wide…maybe you should submit just this once. 
All people are "squishy" in some way. We're big balls of untidy emotion, using logic to justify our decisions, in both biz and life.
P.S. If I don’t know you – I really don’t want to hug you on a first meeting…or even maybe never. (Women often seem to do this automatically.)
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