PostHeaderIcon How *NOT* to Ask Someone Whom You Don’t Know to Use their Social Juice to Help You

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief of Social Media Strategy at xynoMedia

Underthebus Warning: This blog post is long, but worth it.

Last week, on November 8th at 12:26pm, I received a voice mail from Michelle Christie representing a group of local women who were getting together having some sort of event. They called themselves Motivators & Creators and they were having a Women’s Expo on November 23rd, at a local hotel and wanted my help promoting the event.

As this was my first week back from being out of the office for a retreat, I asked my assistant to call her back and get the pertinent details. (I would have asked my assistant to call her back, retreat or no retreat, but my schedule was especially abundant due to my being out of the office the week prior.) I wanted to know the usual things:

  • How did they hear of me? Did anyone refer them? If so, who?
  • Do they want me to speak or just attend?
  • How many people are they expecting?
  • Who are the other businesswomen involved?
  • How EXACTLY do they want me to help them?

I don’t think these things are too unreasonable to know if you’re fielding a request from someone whom you don’t know to promote their event. Do you? I don’t either.

So, my assistant tries for a week to get in touch with her and finally…

they speak. The synopsis of the conversation they had that I received from my assistant was horrible. Here’s a sprinkling (written in my assistant’s voice):

  • When I called her, she had no idea who you were or why she would have
    called you. -I- had to remind HER of the event and what she said and
    such.
  • It appears that they just search for women-owned businesses in your
    area to get them to promote this event for them. She essentially said that they
    would have thought you’d have lots of connections in the area, and they
    want you to use those connections to get people to attend the event.
  • She said you’re welcome to attend, but that it’s a seminars-type event (and the seminars are full for speakers).
  • The woman wasn’t too interested in talking to me. She
    said she’d rather just talk to you instead of a “third party”.

Let me start with a few things:

  1. You should NEVER pick up the phone and cold call someone and ask them to help you promote your event. Asking someone to use their social juice needs to be based on having developed a relationship with that person — and because the two of you are women means nothing. I LOVE to support women business owners (in fact, 95% of our clients are women!), but I’m like Deitrich Bonhoeffer in this regard, I don’t believe in cheap grace. Being a woman businessowner opens the door to a conversation with me, but you need to be serious about your business to get through to me. At the VERY LEAST, Michelle should have called and invited me to attend the event as her guest and then asked me to invite anyone else whom I thought would be a good fit.(As it turns out, NO ONE I know is a good fit for this kind of a shindig.)
  2. When you call people to ask for their participation in your event, you need to keep track of whom you called and why. You look like a MORON when YOU don’t know why YOU called someone.
  3. She CLEARLY didn’t do any research on me or my past speaking engagements — which are all readily available on my website and in my bio. If she did, she would know that events like this are not my forum.
  4. If anyone is EVER rude to my assistant or refers to her as a “THIRD PARTY” (especially to her face), not only will I never attend one of their events, but I will NOT hesitate to throw them under the bus publicly. Doubt me? Ask Michelle Christie.

For those of you who are thinking why I chose to throw this group and Michelle under the bus by using their name and not keeping everything anonymous, I have two things to say. I am violently committed to helping women businessowners succeed and if I were to keep identifying details “under wraps”, then there’s a chance that this group will do this again to someone else. They need to learn that this is NOT the way to treat people with whom you want to connect. And, this, people, is what’s called a teachable moment.

Also, women businessowners don’t have time to futz around with people who don’t respect them or other women businessowners. Consider this time saved — at least with this organization.Keeping the identifying details a secret would in some way reward this company and they clearly are not deserving of that. This wasn’t just an error made on their part — they were RUDE to my team.

Am I posting this on Lipsticking in hopes that more than likely more businesswomen will see this post and deal with this group accordingly? You bet.

There…TOTAL transparency.


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Related posts:

  1. How *NOT* to Ask Someone Whom You Don’t Know to Use their Social Juice to Help You

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